Teang Pao

Share your Before and After Story

As a teenager I used to wish I was born in a European family. I believed they had more love and freedom. Cambodian culture is suppressed and under the thumb.

I was raised in Sydney, Australia in a traditional and strict environment. My family especially my dad held onto traditional and out-dated views on the role of women and the perception of what beauty is. He also believed in arranged marriage and that women should be housewives. He believed that your parents choose your life partner for you without your consent or input.

My family also believed that the whiter your skin the prettier you are, particularly women. This would make it easier to marry you off as you are considered more pretty in the eyes of men.

I was the youngest of 6 children and struggled to live with these beliefs because I have olive brown skin. So in my parents’ eyes I was not pretty. Throughout my teenage years I deeply struggled with the colour of my skin. I’ve been made to feel inferior to my sisters because they have light skin. My dad and brother gave me derogatory nicknames like ‘blacky’, ‘big forehead’ or ‘swollen’. These names were given relating to my skin colour, physical appearance and weight. I’m constantly made to feel I was not accepted, valued and loved as a family member. This really hurt me and cut deep in my heart. To relive the pain I would hide and cry alone.

At age 14 I decided I wanted to change the colour of my face. I wanted to become white. I wanted to be considered pretty. I started to put my sister’s whitening cream and powder on my face. But that was not going to be sustainable because I had no money to buy the whitening creams and powder. Then one evening I saw one of my sisters washed rice and save some of the rice water in a cup. I was intrigued and wondered what she would be doing with the water. I found out that night before going to bed she drained the rice water. At the bottom of the cup there were white residues. She would spread the white residue thinly all over her face before going to bed. That’s when I discovered I can do the same to lighten the colour of my face. I was excited because it was a cheap and easy way for me to make my face white.

I carried out this ritual at night for many years, hoping it would make my olive face white. Each morning I would eagerly check to see if it was getting white. But it never did. It only left me with parts of my face dried and damaged. Realising that I will never be white really hit me hard. One night I sat in the bathroom floor with my face in my hands crying with utter disappointment but hoping no one would hear or see my pain. This negatively affected my self-esteem and self-acceptance. I felt isolated and unloved by my own family. I would long for the day when I would be out of the home environment.

When I reached 33 years old I started a relationship. Initially the relationship was good but then it started to show signs of control. He started to criticise me on my choice of clothes, my hair style, my lack of make-up and the car I drove. I didn’t want to date too many men. So I tried to do things to please him. But I was deeply unhappy and lacked the courage to leave. However, after almost 2 years in the relationship I finally had enough and wanted out. It was bringing up all the negative emotions of growing up in my family. I knew I wanted more and deserved better.

Shortly after ending the relationship I met my now husband. It felt like forever to find the right person and finally I have it. He’s everything and more than I can imagine of being married to. He loves me just the way I am. It’s what I have always wanted in my life; to be accepted and loved for me.

Now I’m 46 years old with a wonderful husband and 2 adorable kids, I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through, particularly mums. I want them to feel they are in worthy of love. To rise, shine and celebrate who they are. Who they are is unique and amazing. And that’s my business mission and life purpose on this earth. I love this quote by Sally Hogshead, the author of the book Fascinate “To become more successful, you don’t have to change who you are. You have to become more of who you are, at your best”.

Mission Accomplished Story

I enrolled in SWY early August 2021 because I was feeling overwhelmed with lack of clarity in my business. I’ve been in business for 4 years and still struggling to understand who my ideal client is. All my skincare products are handmade: the process is super time consuming and tedious and I felt it was a hard slog. I started to wonder whether I’m doing what I love and fulfilling my purpose in life.

I searched for Marisa’s work and found her 3 videos on discovering your true north business via a podcast and watched them eagerly. In the last video there was a call to action to join SWY. I joined a couple of days later. It was the right time (only 4 years later :-)) because I was searching for clarity and direction.

I delved right into the 1st module. I enjoyed creating my 3 big whys. It was what I needed as I wanted to know whether I was in my true north business or not.

I created a timetable and allocated 1.5 hours each day (Monday to Friday) to watch the videos and do the exercises. After the 1st week our city of Canberra, Australia announced a 3 week lockdown. So now I’m home schooling 2 young kids, cooking 3 meals a day; while trying to keep my business alive plus SWY training. This was overwhelming and stressful and I was a week and half behind.

Despite the challenges I tried to keep as much as possible to the allocated time to doing SWY. I turned up to all 8 coaching sessions because I had questions and didn’t want to feel stuck.

I must admit some exercises were challenging particularly arranging interviews with different groups of people to undercover my superpower. It took longer than I thought but I did it because I felt comforted by Marisa’s words of wisdom to ‘trust the process’. She skilfully created SWY contents to move students along and take actions by making a ‘get started choice’. This really helped me to keep moving forward without over-analysing. As a result, I hit mission accomplished a week before the deadline date. Yay!

I found the group coaching sessions with Coach Paul Keetch and other students to be invaluable in helping me to discover whether I’m in my true north business.

I’ve discovered I’m in my true north business! My gratitude goes to Marisa for creating SWY, Coach Paul Keetch for his support/guidance and fellow students’ encouragement. This is the wind beneath my wings I needed to keep going. PLUS as part of SWY I completed a 12 month strategic plan to move forward. That’s super awesome!

Let us rise, shine and celebrate.